Joy to the medical profession (2006):
After years of unflagging hard work and dedication, along with proportional quantities of lost blood, sleep, and sweat, JoAnn has gained her much-sought-after admission to the nursing program at Front Range Community College. This long-awaited development comes none too soon for Tom, who marked his entrance to middle age this year with a series of root canals, vision deficiencies, spiny gray neck hairs, and a mysterious whole-body carpal tunnel affliction that has left his brain superficially connected to flailing limbs.
Despite these difficulties, Tom rejoices in the fact that JoAnn’s graduation should occur within the next couple years, roughly the same time his frail body and mind seem likely to fall into total disrepair. Until that time, JoAnn’s compassionate ambition has inspired him to reassess his career objectives and come up a goal of his own, which involves having a box full of sugar-sweetened animal crackers fashioned in the image of the beloved indoor and outdoor menagerie mentioned below.
In the notoriety department, photogenic family members JoAnn and Avery the dog appeared on the front page of The Fort Collins Coloradoan in early November as part of a story regarding the use of acupuncture in veterinary medicine. As of the writing of this letter, a video starring Avery, JoAnn, Dr. Narda Robinson, and JoAnn’s Mom, Rita, in the role of Rita the dog waterer, was still available for viewing on The Coloradoan web site. After a few ups and downs, Avery has responded well to a combination of steroids and needles. Tom’s related research involving the placement of sharpened tacks on household chairs proved slightly less popular but far more entertaining than eastern medicine.
Other household events included the annual appearance of the bald blue jay at the bird feeder in August, the training and taming of a new generation of hand-fed backyard squirrels, slightly less timidity in Cecil the old cat, continued deadly mouseketeering by Emma the middle cat, improved skulking skills in Olive the smallest cat, a smokin’ hot deal on our 2006 Christmas tree, and several steamin’ hot gifts left under that same tree by Avery the dog. Additional accomplishments included Tom’s involvement in the largest civilian airlift ever undertaken, during which he helped transport a team of proud athletes from the site of the 2006 Special Olympics in Des Moines, IA, to their home in Alabama.
Our plans for 2007 include bright consciousness, clear judgment, strong will (maybe we’ll start all that January 2), and fewer pre-recorded phone calls from sharp-tongued political candidates. We wish the same for all of you and your families and would like to leave you with one piece of New Year’s advice: never order a manatee sandwich in Florida, even in jest.
