Merry White Light Season from the Harmony Road Gateway:
The world lost a kind soul in October, when JoAnn’s Grandmother, Harriet Bennett, passed away at the age of 94. She left us with the memory of her smile, a mirthful sense of humor, and the legacy of a lifetime spent caring for others. When we grow up, we can only hope to turn out like Harriet.
Another painful loss occurred in January, when our dog Avery took her last halting romp around the snowy back yard. During the six years that she owned us, Avery idolized JoAnn, tolerated the cats, yellowed the lawn, pursued rabbits and squirrels to the point of exhaustion, challenged the neighbor dogs, licked the windows, drank out of puddles, and ate questionable substances, all of which, after review, closely resemble Tom’s behavior over the past half decade.
Despite these sorrows, we managed as usual to have more than our fair share of fun in 2007. A high point occurred in May, when we vacationed on Cat Island, a pile of sand in the Bahamas east of Exuma Sound. On our first island evening, while stargazing, JoAnn impressed fellow villagers by pointing out numerous constellations, planets, asteroids, and satellites. Not to be outdone, Tom noted an arrangement of stars that he christened The Jockstrap of Cerebrus, at which point JoAnn relieved him of his rum punch and escorted him away from the fire.
A couple days later, while conducting important research at the Tiki bar, we encountered future newlyweds Ashley and Trevor who, despite Tom’s typically poor bar behavior, requested our assistance as witnesses to their upcoming wedding. In addition to witnessing the barefoot, sandy nuptials, JoAnn served as wedding photographer while Tom functioned as the world’s oldest, ugliest, most unshaven flower girl and ring bearer. Best wishes to Ashley and Trevor and all of this year’s newlyweds.
Additional island adventures included kayaking with an escort of black tip sharks, snorkeling, a grueling climb to the top of 203-foot Mt. Alvernia—the highest point in the Bahamas, a spectacular bicycle stunt by JoAnn that somehow resulted in only minor damage to body, clothing, and soul, a visit to one of the trashiest beaches ever seen, a waterspout sighting, and the joyous consumption of more cracked conch, grouper, crab rice, and wahoo than two people would normally see in a lifetime.
A few Christmas tips for your next trip to the islands: 1. Steer clear of real estate advice provided by island natives who have just spilled rum in their laps. 2. Refrain from singing the theme from Flipper while consuming dolphin in the formal dining area. Your rum punch will disappear and somebody will escort you to more private dining quarters. 3. Given the choice, would you watch the whales, or watch where you’re going?
Another high point occurred a few months later in September, when we traveled to Sioux Falls to help welcome newborn nephew Isaiah Michael. Best wishes and good health to Isaiah, parents Kathleen and Joe, and all of this year’s new arrivals.
Back in Fort Collins for the remainder of the year, JoAnn continued her nursing education. Her fellow students elected her class president, and she received a tuition reimbursement scholarship from Poudre Valley Hospital, as well as an offer of employment following next year’s much-anticipated graduation. Tom’s never-ending education also continues, though along less formal lines. One lesson that he would like to pass along advises against attempting to fill an electrified iron with water while pressing the tongue of your shoe, which leads to yet another travel tip: the first floor of the Carlsbad Inn just north of San Diego will be uninhabitable for the next few months, pending badly needed electrical renovations and upgrades.
As December 25th nears, we feel obligated to counter national media reports regarding the attempted cancellation of Christmas by the City of Fort Collins. After two years of acrimonious debate, our hard-working, conscientious city council has mostly rejected a task force proposal recommending secular winter symbols as a means of celebrating the holidays. One of our Christmas wishes for you includes the hope that your own municipal government can find more important issues to consider.
Happy Shoplifting from the Harmony Road Retail Merchant Corridor.
