Merry Aloha:
Let the nursing begin! After an educational summer internship and fall semester, JoAnn’s long-awaited completion of nursing school has arisen, ending with a grueling series of night shifts on the surgery floor. A care-giving career awaits her within the award-winning local health care system, and Tom looks forward to his first hospital stay of the New Year in hopes of spending some time with her.
Our hope for 2009 is that JoAnn’s contribution to the health care field will compensate for our part in the economic downturn, which we caused by participating in the All-American act of having too much fun in 2008, starting with our visit to the garden island of Kauai in May. We spent much of the vacation stuck in traffic, circling the island in a desperate quest to escape the swarm of “Grand Vacations Club” agents lurking in every shadow. Stopping the car on occasion allowed us to visit sites such as the Kilaueau Point Lighthouse and Bird Sanctuary, where we waded through piles of genuine Nene doo-doo, just like at home in goose-friendly Fort Collins.
A Hawaiian snorkeling excursion involved sixty minutes of snapping masks against each other’s faces while attempting to achieve the level of discomfort required to keep sea water out of our eyes, followed by about ten minutes of actual snorkeling, which rewarded us with a view of many brightly-colored tropical fish, none quite so bright as the red of our badly burned shoulders. Kayaking the Wailua River provided visits to ancient luau sites and the Secret Falls, where we watched objects such as logs, rocks, dead fish, pig carcasses, and errant kayakers descend a hundred feet to the shallow pool below. Hiking through the jungle, we saw wild orchids, walking trees, and colorful “sensitive” plants that folded up when touched, mimicking JoAnn’s reaction to Tom at certain times. A downhill bike ride from the top of Waimea Canyon provided us with spectacular views of the forbidden island of Ni’ihau and the sight of a similarly spectacular bicycle crash from which almost everybody escaped unscathed.
Despite the traffic, we hated to leave Kauai and the nightly happy hours of POG, Mai Tais, crab cake pupus, and Don Ho impersonators. Upon our return to Colorado, we were chased home from the airport by a chain of tornadoes, an omen of the economic and political turbulence to come. In an attempt to reverse the negative tide, JoAnn put her studies on hold to applaud Barack Obama’s visit to Fort Collins in October. Tom’s less useful stance involved ranting submissions to various on-line blogs, blaming our woes on Disney World, reality TV, and the airline industry.
To counteract the horrendous financial result of our spring 2008 USA vacation, our behavioral about face in 2009 will include, among other action items, a mid-winter visit to an entirely foreign country. We predict a financial upturn in late February and offer the following advice to those making the long, costly journey to Kauai: Upon returning to the mainland, no jokes to USDA airport inspectors regarding the sand in your shorts. The resultant invasive search will free your mind of pleasant vacation memories.
