Merry Cardboard Season to All:
The enclosed photograph depicts the initial stages of our 2015 travel adventure, a “Great Faces; Great Places” South Dakota excursion to celebrate milestone birthdays for Tom’s parents in July. The photograph also depicts our respective mindsets relative to air transport as well as life in general: JoAnn putting her best face forward in spite of a rant-clown seatmate; Tom succumbing to yet another case of Oppositional Defiant Disorder.
The constant struggle with Tom’s insolent symptoms prompted JoAnn to excise a shard of disorder from her life in April by trading her position on the Poudre Valley Hospital medical floor for the relative serenity of the surgical unit. She loves her new co-workers, appreciates the chaos reduction, and seemed especially enamored with her unit’s December staff meeting, which included breakfast and a decoupage crafting session. Another perk came in the form of a good-luck Denver Broncos tee-shirt when the University of Colorado Health System partnered with our Mile High Almost-Super Heroes. Tom’s work year proved perk-free and less eventful. A highlight occurred during a Thanksgiving Day slosh in Miami’s Dumbfoundling Bay, one of the few locations in Florida he can identify with, if only in name.
Sadder events obliged us to bid farewell to a couple great feline friends in 2015, Emma in February and Olive in September. A few catless hours later, we paid tribute to Emma’s and Olive’s rescue-pet origins by freeing black-and-white Nelson (Why must it always be pandemonium?!) Van Alden from the kindly confines of Fort Collins Cat Rescue. Recently neutered Nelson still had testosterone to burn and quickly took over Tom’s house-wide title as chief biter, fighter, and nighttime nose gnawer. Our living room transmogrified overnight from an area of human respite to the Nelsonic Temple of Cat Toys. The sudden transition from peaceful little old lady cats to rambunctious male kitten had us reeling in nests of shredded skin and clothing, a dilemma that we addressed in typical, deranged, pet-loving fashion by bringing home a two-pound cannonball of fur-lined lightning named Clem Catterson, who runs riot through our nights and spends his days leading us in vigorous programs of unexpected staircase cat yoga. The addition of a second kitten added a UFC (Ultimate Fighting Cats) element to our existence, and the formerly simple act of shoe-tying now leaves our laces frayed and lungs winded. However, the unbridled enthusiasm of our two young masters brings newfound energy and great joy to our home, as well as smart phones and social media pages filled to the brim with cat-centric material.
Our nearly new, obsolete smart phones, by the way, have not lived up to our expectation that they cover their own expenses and pay their own way. To counteract this electronic irresponsibility, we (maybe just Tom) envision an application called the iFib, a combination cardiac defibrillator and random falsehood generator, which we (Tom) believe would come in handy at any (maybe just Tom’s) workplace. Look for it in virtual stores next Christmas.
Meanwhile, we declare 2016 the Year of the Clem, who is currently assisting with the design of this memo by typing his own Christmas greeting to all of you:
“Hggggggggg!”
