Dear End-of-Year Co-Conspirator:
We went needless and needle-less this season in the Christmas tree department, foregoing messy tradition for the sleek modernity of a grid-dimming outdoor glade of pre-fabricated light-bulb blooms, all carefully timed to illuminate coincident with the onset of peak-power hours.
Speaking of circuitry, we announce with great pride, after 19 years in situ, the shocking ability to close the cover to the circuit breaker box in the garage, the result of a wiring modification that allows activation of the basement lights with a handy wall switch, thus launching us unsteadily into the 19th century. A less tedious aspect of the electrical upgrade: the installation of a couple clay- and glass-baking kilns, new components of JoAnn’s continuing effort to beautify and calm the world through art.
In support of those tasteful endeavors, JoAnn recently partnered with a group of other fine artists at nearby Blue Moose Art Gallery, Northern Colorado’s Best Art Gallery, Gift Store, and home to several Best Local Artists. Check out their beautiful inventory, classes, events, and awesome atmosphere in person or at BlueMooseArtGallery.com. JoAnn has participated in almost every available class at the her new non-workplace and recommends all of them highly. She eventually chose to specialize in fused-glass clocks, a number of which dwell in the The Moose for sale, display, and refined chronology.
Uncharacteristically inspired by the uptick in creativity, Tom crashed a clay bird sculpting class, where he eventually clumped together a misshapen insult to goldfinch lovers everywhere. Despite that artistic abomination, which now resides in a thankfully dim basement corner, we have found great solace in the addition of more art and artists to our surroundings, as well as a respite from our respective work lives, where we bear increasingly frequent witness to human behavior that surpasses understanding. For example: why would a patient curse a nurse; or, why would a traveler sacrifice their $29 Orlando passage in favor of an unwinnable game of brinksmanship with an underpaid flight attendant? The perpetrators of such misconduct clearly suffer from artlessness. JoAnn vows to carry on the fight against this defect, while Tom will keep his infuriating personality concealed behind the bulletproof curtain.
Another recent addition to the household: the inimitable Instant Pot®. No, not the pot that one might associate with Colorado’s overly sought homeless, jobless, transient, entitled lifestyle. Our favored Pot® strain comprises America’s #1 most loved multi-cooker, a device that allows a pressurized and thus much quicker chicken-breast transition from store to kitchen floor when Tom loses his ever-weakening elder-grip on the serving tong. Feline Team Nelson and Clem, who cost more to feed per pound than we, have taken to gathering round the Instant Pot® in anticipation of the hopeless, cook-room hacky-sacking of sautéed meat that occurs each time Tom attempts to serve himself from the vessel, an artless performance that seems likely to trigger the unhinged, so we will share that unfortunate vision with no other than our most dear and stable friends.
If this update sounds flippant, then you have helped Tom incorporate his Webster’s Word of the Day into his otherwise artless, misshapen existence. Thank you; Merry Christmas.
