The material to follow has sprung unbidden from the author’s imagination and therefore has no basis in normality or reality. The author’s primary goal involves entertaining the reader through an outlandish application of the Law of Unintended Consequences. The author reads for enjoyment—to live vicariously through bigger-than-life characters—and hopes to achieve that same purpose with the enclosed tale.
The events that occur in this story would likely never happen to real, sensible people (except for the author and a select few acquaintances). Real, sensible people would probably never act or react in the same manner as characters in this tale. Therefore, reading the story will require some suspension of disbelief.
Previous readers and constructive critics have attached many labels to this work: nonsense, idiot plot, farce, comedy, mockery, satire, shambles, parody, keyboard abuse, etc. The author considers all those descriptions correct and overly complimentary. If the reader senses an overload of serious material in the chapters to follow, the author has fallen short of the intended goal and encourages the reader to point out the oversight. If the contents offend at any point, the author will fail to apologize while reveling in the offense and continuing very hard to repeat the accomplishment.
Most importantly, many thanks for taking the time to read and comment. The author’s feelings relative to this creation are impossible to hurt. Unleash the red pens! Every suggestion is appreciated, valued, and carefully considered.
With those warnings in mind, have a look at the first chapter, if you dare. If you would take a moment to leave a comment below, I would be honored to read and reply: